When I was four, I proposed to a boy down the street. His name was Donovan. He said no. I bit his cheek and rode home on my Big Wheel.

I went to a book signing featuring five authors, and I couldn’t wait to rush home and read Allen Zadoff’s Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can’t Have first. Zadoff’s reading was so funny, and he spoke so candidly about his own struggles as an overweight teenager that I knew I’d love his book. I did. It’s the story of Andrew Zansky, the second heaviest kid at his school and the son of a caterer. Unlike most books that deal with weight issues, Food, Girls doesn’t focus much on how many pounds Andrew loses by the end of the story. Instead, Zadoff explores Andrew’s journey to find acceptance with his peers and, ultimately, with himself.

As I read Food, Girls, I kept thinking that this book was in many ways the brother companion to Carolyn Mackler’s The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things. Notice the parallels in the kick-ass titles? Both main characters undergo physical transformations that end up being secondary to their mental shifts. Like Mackler, Zadoff’s message is sincere but never preachy and is summed up in one of my favorite quotes by India.Arie:

“No matter what anybody says, what matters most is what you think of yourself.”

Things I don’t need to do again, like ever:

1. Work at the Woolen Mills

2. Ask someone why they don’t like me

3. Eat sweetbreads

4. Apologize for the way I behaved in high school

5. Cut my own hair

6. Obsess over TMI’s sales rank on Amazon (and I don’t, now that I know how meaningless that number truly is)

7. Let the Wii tell me how much I should weigh

8. Take a toddler to a crowded hipster restaurant after her bedtime

9. Watch I Am Legend

10. Puke

Every October, my college has a campus-wide evening of blind dates. Officially, the event is called “Set Up Your Roommate,” but we all called it “Screw Your Roommate” and even got little screws in our mailboxes as a reminder.

Freshman year, I left myself entirely in the hands of my roommate. My date for the evening wasn’t at all impressed when I suggested we go to the 9:00 showing of Dirty Dancing in the science building, but he didn’t have any better ideas. The onscreen heat between Baby and Johnny failed to inspire my date and me, and we parted amicably at the end of the evening.

The next year, I was already in rabid crush mode by the time Screw Your Roommate came around. I had my sights on a freshman I’d met while baking cookies in one of the campus houses. He reminded me of a young Val Kilmer and always simultaneously raised his chin and eyebrows when he saw me.

It left me in a puddle of my own drool every time.

I’m sure my roommate (not the same one I’d had freshman year) would have been glad to set me up with Val Kilmer, but I was embarrassed. So I did what any girl does when she wants to go on a not-so-blind date with her crush: I called Val’s roommate and pretended to be my roommate.

My date with Val started off really well, and we were totally hitting it off. We went for a walk and got to know each other. Then we went out for sandwiches. Finally, we ended up back at his room, where he put on Dark Side of the Moon and dimmed the lights so I could admire the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling.

I was pretty giddy at this point and confident that we were about to make out. So I did what any girl who later writes a book called TMI would do: I told Val that I’d called his roommate and arranged our date. Val furrowed his brow slightly and said he was tired. Date over.

From then on, whenever I saw Val, he always said hi, but the chin-eyebrow raises stopped. And it was all my fault.

With this debut novel, Struts & Frets, Jon Skovron joins an esteemed group of authors who have created characters that I totally crush on. Sammy Bojar is a boy with a guitar and a dream of making a living making music. I knew I was going to love this book when I cracked the spine and saw that the first chapter was titled “Idiots Rule,” which is also a Jane’s Addiction song. Skovron creates a playlist with his chapters, winding his way through the Pixies, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and ending with Soul Coughing’s “So Far I Have Not Found A Science” (still stuck in my head). I urge you to pick up this book, and then I dare you to put it down.

I needed a blogging break, and now I’m back. Thanks for your patience, everyone.

So what’s new in Quigleyland? Let’s see…

1. In early December, I had a blast doing several events with other YA authors. Jon Yang has some great photos of us on his blog.
2. I finished the second draft of my second novel. A few of my loved ones volunteered to read it and had lots of great things to say, so that’s been encouraging!
3. I’ve been practicing yoga 3-4 times a week, and let me tell you, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I’m happier, calmer, and feeling better than I have in years. I do classes at home with YogaToday.com, which I highly recommend to anyone and everyone. I love all the instructors, but Adi Amar is my favorite.
4. I went to Minnesota to see friends and family. Each time I visit my native state in the winter, I’m reminded of what a wimp I’ve become living in California.
5. I turned 34. Mentally, I still feel like I’m about fourteen. On the big day, I went shopping with my daughter, and the next evening enjoyed a toddler-free dinner with my husband and friends at one of my favorite restaurants.
6. I hosted my parents-in-law and then my brother and his girlfriend, who was visiting San Francisco for the first time. I never tire of playing tour guide and seeing people’s reactions to the city. There’s no denying I live in an awesome town!

Over the next few weeks, I’m looking forward to diving into another draft of my novel, seeing my parents when they come out to visit, and helping my daughter celebrate her second birthday. I’ll do my best to keep up my regular features.